Monday, February 6th, 2006
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7:34 pm - hey
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does anyone know where i can get the ethnic adversity photos from cycle four? i thought they were really cool but i can't find them anywhere (they aren't on the web site because i assume that they were too offensive....?)
i REALLY want to see these pictures! lol thanks if you can help!
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Friday, February 3rd, 2006
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3:34 pm - yay!
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Sunday, December 25th, 2005
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1:32 am - grargh
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Honors Modern Fiction: A-
Cultural Studies and Comparative Literature Honors 1909 - A-
Introduction to Creative Writing: A
Biology 1001: B+
that was the EASIEST class ever! i'm proud of my other grades but i'm disappointed about that.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, December 4th, 2005
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7:15 pm - grouphug.us
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there's this site called grouphug.us where people make anonymous confessions. i check it every once in a while and most of the confessions are stupid ("i jerk off 2 much am i weird or something?") but i saw this one today and i really liked it:
When my cat sits on the desk in front of me we each lean in and knock our heads together. I guess he likes it because it's like i'm speaking his language.
It's just so...cute, I guess. And not pretentious.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, December 1st, 2005
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2:20 pm - AAAAAAAAAAAH i'm gonna die.
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so today in newspaper our teacher was talking about the "tiny microcosms" of our lives and i just kind of blurt out "I resent that!" really angrily/punily and he's like "oh ha ha sorry the macrocasm eminence of your life" in this sort of joking way. i wanted to kill myself. my life is SO puny. oig.
and then in bio we were discussing the biological reasons why people age and die. it was SUCH a debbie downer. it's a wonder i haven't jumped out my window yet.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
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5:13 pm - PS
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Sunday, November 20th, 2005
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4:38 pm - LORD
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it is HARD to keep your morals when you are dirt poor broke and someone offers you a hundred dollars to give YOU a blowjob. ooooi
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, November 17th, 2005
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9:39 pm - OH DEAR LORD
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scott just IMed me. Scott. You know Scott. My FIRST. SCOTT THE NOW THIRTY YEAR OLD. SCOTT THE HOT LION. ooooh lord.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Sunday, November 13th, 2005
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2:59 am - I even pulled out the Donnie Darko soundtrack...
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So. Alcohol. Not a good idea. Today I pregamed the football game and went with people on my floor. I drank waaay too much waaay too fast, threw up in the metrodome (not in the bathroom, either, going up the STAIRS to the bathroom) and passed out in my seat. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to be angry with my floormates for not taking care of me or even seeming to care that I was so incapacitated (one did walk back to the dorm with me halfway through the game, but she was piss drunk as well) or checking on me in teh seven hours I was passed out (woke up at 7 pm with the worst hangover of my life). I know it was all my own idiotic fault for drinking too much, but what if I had alcohol poisoning or something? I guess I just know who my real friends are.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, October 24th, 2005
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10:43 pm - the anual substantial post
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I'm not sure that I want to be here. In college, that is. Well, Minnesota too I guess. It's just like there's nothing here for me. I'm not really learning anything. Or at least that's what it feels like. I'd like to believe it's because I'm taking all the wrong classes, and that it will all be fixed with the changing of semesters, but somehow I don't think that's the case. I keep thinking about what Ashley said last year when we were talking about going away for college. I said I wanted to go to college to become a writer and she said "But you're already a good writer." I don't think by any means that I could hack in the professional world of writing if you slapped me right into the middle of it now, but I also don't feel like I'm progressing as a writer at all because of my stay here at the U.
I think that I had this incredibly naive notion that when I went to college, all the things that made me unhappy (prejudiced, simple classes, my family, my faults) would all go away. Turns out the reason it's all called "baggage" is because it stays with you. I don't even know if I want to actually be a writer. I just feel like it's something I can do reasonably well and that I can beat other people when I do it. Maybe that's the whole reason I want to be a writer--because I think life is a competition, and that the only way I'll make anything of myself is if I'm proving I'm better at something than other people. That's a pretty sick way to view life.
My friend Steph keeps talking about her friends that all just up and moved to Portland and got an apartment and jobs and lives and are happy just dicking around. The first thing I thought about when she told me this was "Lord, who would want to live such a small life?" But this dorm room feels pretty damn tiny right now, and I don't seem to be on my way to anything so fucking prestigious.
What would I do? Drop out? Go back to working at The Summit and serve old people their slop until I become my boss? A twenty-something who dropped out of college and works eighty hours a week at a place they hate praying for cancer because I know my health insurance wouldn't cover the treatments and dying would finally get me out of that horrible place?
A guy from Campus Crusade for Christ stopped by my room today and talked to me for like half an hour. HE sounded sure of where he was in life and how things worked. Now I don't think I could ever find comfort in my life through God, just because I'm me. I'd feel like I was being tricked and would never be able to find any kind of true contentment. Maybe I could try to find it through something else?
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, October 21st, 2005
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11:59 am - oi
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Sunday, October 2nd, 2005
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11:55 pm - aaagh
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i just read "Ender's Game" like over the course of two days. it was pretty slow, and didn't make sense at some points (the author even admitted as much in his introduction) and was too self-righteous for its own good at some points, but it was a really good book. the ending was too "guwah" for me. i like have to stop the music that was playing in my room and put on something calming just to make my head stop feeling all "guwah." Orson Scott Card certainly has you invested in the characters, that's for damn sure. there wasn't anything else to the book, really. just mind games and bad dreams. it was all about children, too. it was hard to remember that they were the whole book. but the definition of a child in our culture is really based on what their situation is and what's expected of them. they aren't really children because they're young but because they don't have to worry about not being young, i guess.
current music: "Such Great Heights" - Iron and Wine
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
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12:38 am - Joyce Sutphen
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we had a really cool guest lecturer in my creative writing class today, and her name was joyce sutphen. she's a contemporary poet that i actually like (!!!) and she said this, which i thought was cool:
"If all you do is take one part of your life and pay really close attention to it, that's enough.
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
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9:38 pm - UUUUUGH
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k. here's the piece of shit poem i'm going to turn in on friday. at least there's plenty of room for revision (which is what they want). please give feedback.
( Walls )
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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6:24 pm - ugh
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anton just told me to "stop hitting mr. computer and start hitting the books."
i never thought i'd miss eden prairie.
and remember what i said about my classes being easy? turns out intro to creative writing is SUPER hard to get an A in. here's the requirements for each grade in that class:
C The student attends class faithfully, participates fully, and completes all assignments.
B The student revises work significantly and submits a particularly strong portfolio (poem/story and revised version) in addition to fulfilling the work required for a C.
A The student demonstrates an extraordinary mastery of language, original approaches to the material, and great skill with the fundamentals taught in class.
SINCE WHEN DOES COMPLETING ALL THE WORK AND GOING TO CLASS AND PARTICIPATING GET YOU A FUCKING "C"?? I NEED A 4.0 TO GET OUT OF THIS SHITHOLE OF A STATE!!
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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7:47 am - ugh
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not liking college thus far. my classes are easy (sorry, post secondary educational system) my roommate's weird, and everyone i've met that lives around me is so vapid and shallow.
last night i was in the study lounge (anton was obsessively watching "House, M.D." DVD's) trying to read a lab manual. but there were kids in there just talking. in the study lounge. which is fine, i guess. i can deal with that. but they were talking about the stupidest things.
this one guy is from chicago and he was telling the other kids there about how he always heard about the elderly and mentally handicapped being raped. the first response from the other kids wasn't "that's terrible!" or "they must have been defenseless! how sad!" it was "ewwww!"
that wouldn't bug me so much if that weren't a typical example of every conversation here.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, September 12th, 2005
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4:10 pm - huwumph
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for my creative writing class we're supposed to pick three objects and write a ten line stanza about each in the style of this "blackbirds" poem we read. i've pumped out two disjointed stanzas that look like they were written by someone with no cognitive reasoning abilities.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
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11:17 pm - lol oh bradley
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me: i'm not that interesting, don't put too much stock in me.
bradley: bill gates isn't interesting, look where he is.
it took me FOREVER to get that he meant that microsoft's stocks were super high. lol i adore this kid
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, September 3rd, 2005
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11:44 pm - huh
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i haven't actually met my roommate yet. he won't be here till tomorrow. but he doesn't SOUND ugly on the phone, and that's good, right?
...right?
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, September 2nd, 2005
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1:20 am - hmph
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i met six new people today, and every one of them thought i was sixteen. did i REALLY look even younger than that without the piercings? because i thought i was kidding when i said i looked twelve before. i guess i wasn't?
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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blighter's journal